First-period kits like Dot Girl help tweens come of age with confidence

Some things a woman just doesn't forget -- like her first period.

Guys no doubt have their own indelible coming-of-age memories, but for women, the arrival of menarche stands out, and not always in a good way. For girls caught unawares and unprepared -- and a surprising number still are -- the course of nature can come as a shock.

"It's kind of interesting that despite all the openness in today's society, it's still not necessarily a comfortable topic to talk about," said Kathy Pickus of Mukilteo, co-creator of a kit designed to help young girls embrace their coming of age with confidence.

She and her sister, Terri Goodwin of West Seattle, have created the Dot Girl's First Period Kit to give preteens the sense of preparedness they wish they'd had when they were growing up.

Pickus, 48, remembers being caught off guard when her period debuted during a family vacation in Montana, where she was sharing a motor home with her parents and four siblings. Her mother, a nurse, hadn't yet given her "the talk," and Pickus was frightened at the unexpected sight of blood.

"I honestly thought, 'OK, I'm dying,' " Pickus said. "It took a full day to tell my mom."

For Goodwin, her younger sister, the timing couldn't have been worse.

"We had a brother who died in a car accident," she said, "and I started a week later."

Their mother outfitted Goodwin with the necessary supplies but, understandably, was too grief-stricken to do much more.

"She got me what I needed," Goodwin said, "but I didn't know it was a cycle, I didn't know if it happened all the time. There had been no established dialogue."

Pickus and Goodwin launched Dot Girl last December through their company, TK Designs LLC. They see the kit as a way to jump-start the dialogue -- helping tongue-tied moms, single dads and doting aunties clue in their special girl.

"It's a tool to break the ice," Goodwin said, adding that their mother later told them, "I sure could have used one of those."

Dot Girl's First Period Kit, which sells online for $18, is a zippered bag about the size of a round box of bath powder. It holds an information booklet, a menstrual calendar, a gel-filled heat pack to ease cramps, hand wipes and three sanitary pads in two sizes. It's available in two colors, sky blue and -- by far the bigger seller -- peppermint pink.

"There are so many products that try to make girls grow up too fast," Goodwin said. "We tried to make it young and sweet."

Goodwin and Pickus aren't the first to dream up a first-period kit. Manufacturers of feminine hygiene products used to make starter packs (some still offer free product samples through their Web sites), and many mothers and daughters compile their own kits, at little cost. The teen forum at kotex.com even has a discussion thread titled, "What have you got in your period kit?"

Pickus said the idea for Dot Girl grew out of a kit she put together years ago when her daughter, now 19, was approaching adolescence. Pickus packed a Clinique cosmetics bag with pads and a change of underwear and suggested her daughter keep it in her gym bag.

Today several other companies sell prepackaged, commercial kits online, but they generally cater to an alternative clientele. Some kits contain organic-cotton pads that are meant to be washed and reused, as a sustainable, chemical-free option. Other products emphasize goddess themes.

One such company, birthwithsol.com, offers a deluxe First Period Kit that retails for a whopping $145. Along with hygiene supplies, journal and other accouterments, it contains a 2-inch-high piece of Menstrual Goddess Art with these instructions:

"Fill your Goddess with a drop of menstrual blood and seal with candle wax. Keep her in a place of honor and acknowledge this valuable gift given you each moon."

Dot Girl takes a more mainstream, matter-of-fact approach. It contains conventional, commercial pads, and its educational minibooklet keeps the focus on what to expect when you're expecting your first period.

"This is a new experience for you and it's normal to have lots of questions," it says. "You might be wondering when it will come, will you be ready, will it hurt and will anyone else be able to tell."

Pickus and Goodwin recently expanded their Web site to include links to books that can help girls and parents prepare for the event.

"Our kit isn't designed to be everything they might need," Goodwin said, "so we encourage them to get other books to read."

Tampax.com, which offers extensive information about puberty and menstruation, suggests mothers look for a friendly way to broach a subject that can be difficult to discuss. Ask if they've learned about it at school, or if any other girls are talking about it.

"You may be reluctant to face the fact that your 'baby' is growing up," the site says. "Your daughter, too, may have mixed feelings about puberty."

Although the average age of menarche is about 12, girls may be years younger or older when they reach that milestone.

"I had a friend whose daughter started at 8," Pickus said. "Her mother was totally unprepared."

Presumably, her daughter was, too. Which is why sooner, rather than later, is a good time to give girls information and emotional support.

"I believe it's important to start talking to them a few years before (puberty)," Goodwin said. "Don't just wait till the last minute."

FIRST-PERIOD KITS

Dotgirlproducts.com: This small, zippered bag (in choice of pink or light blue) includes educational minibooklet, menstrual calendar, reusable gel-filled heat pack for cramps, sample pads and hand wipes. $18.

Manymoonsalternatives.com: New Moon kit has six certified-organic cotton, washable pads; 12 organic-cotton liners, a carrying bag, Divine Goddess Naturals Moon Tea and Moon Day Oil. $80.

Birthwithsol.com: First Period kit includes journal, calendar, three-pack of reusable GladRags, foam bath and choice of nighttime pad or Sea Pearl tampons. $82.75 retail/$75 online sale. Deluxe kit has additional feminine hygiene supplies plus Menstrual Goddess Art and candle. $145 retail/$130 online sale.

Fanciepants.com: CodeRED starter's kit has organic-cotton pads, tampons and panty liners; herbal pain and PMS patches, menstrual calendar, cotton bedding liner, guide book, lingerie bag, cannister. $64.95.

Womanwisdom.com: "Coming of Age: From Bud to Flower" includes rite-of-passage celebration ideas, activities, DVD, workbook and projects (but no feminine hygiene products). $48.95.

Petiteamie.com: Sells My First Cycle Kit for Girls, with 15 tampons, five ultra-skinny overnight pads, five panty liners, five thong liners and 20 toilette wipes. $21.99.