My Daughter Hasn’t Started Her Period Yet!

How many times have you heard your kids complain because they were the last one chosen for a team? Everyone wants to be chosen first and no one wants to be last. In fact, most kids just want to keep up with their peers and would rather not be singled out for being the last to do anything. If your daughter is reaching puberty milestones slower than her friends she may get the feeling that she’s being left behind in the great race to grow up.

Here are some ways you can help your daughter if she is a late bloomer:

1. Sit down with your daughter and explain the developmental bench marks for puberty (see How to Tell Your Daughter’s Period Might Be Coming). The average upper age for starting menstruation is 16. Delays may be caused by low body weight or heavy participation in sports. If you are at all concerned then talk to your doctor.

2. If your daughter is developing normally but appears to be a “late bloomer” then your job will be to reassure her that her body is unique and is just developing at its own pace. Read through some magazines and point out to her the wide variety of body types there are in the world. Remind her that everyone eventually grows into their adult body, it will happen to her too.

3. In a cheerful voice remind her that this is a great time to look at the bright side of not having a period: no pads, no cramps and no worries at the pool. Also point out that some girls who started menstruating early may be feeling uncomfortable about that. There’s really no hard and fast age of when it’s supposed to happen.

Some girls may equate getting their periods with being more mature. Let your daughter know that emotional maturity and physical maturity are two different things. Encourage her in all the other ways she shows maturity. Keep a positive attitude and look for ways to celebrate her uniqueness. She’ll know that she’s moving along fine and really not coming in last at all.

What feminine pads should my daughter use?

It’s Friday and our period talk for today is ‘what feminine pads should my daughter use?’ As moms know, there are many different types of feminine pads. They come in different lengths and thicknesses to match various amounts of blood flow.

Thinner “mini” pads are for lighter flow and thicker “maxi” pads are for heavy flow or overnight. Most feminine pads now come individually wrapped in plastic so they are easier to carry and keep clean. We recommend your daughter become familiar with the different feminine pads before she starts her period.

Your daughter may also ask about tampons especially if she is active in sports or other physical activities like dancing. If your daughter decides to use tampons remind her to change them frequently and to use the size that matches her flow. Girls just starting their periods will have a lighter flow and tampons are meant to absorb liquid. If her flow is light, it may be uncomfortable pulling out the used tampon. This may turn your daughter off from tampons. So talk to her about the appropriate times to use tampons. And remember that every box of tampons will also come with information on avoiding Toxic Shock Syndrome – important information for your daughter to know.

This is also a good time to teach your daughter about disposing of used feminine pads and tampons. They should never be flushed down the toilet. There are special disposal bags available such as ones included in The Dot Girl First Period Kit. The used pad or tampon should be placed in the disposal bag and placed in the garbage can.

If your daughter does not have disposal bags handy, she should fold up the pad as best she can and wrap it several times in toilet paper before throwing it in the trash. A tampon can also be wrapped in toilet paper before putting it in the trash.

Period Fact #9 – Period Tracking on a Calendar

This week for our Friday series on periods we are going to talk about tracking periods on a calendar.  As we all know, the first question asked at annual ob/gyn exams is ‘when was the first day of your last period’?  Your daughter will also want to track her period for other reasons.  Knowing her cycle will help her plan for camp or other activities so can pack the supplies she needs.

Tracking her periods also helps your daughter know what is normal for her body.  That way she will notice if anything seems not normal.  Sometimes an abnormal or irregular menstrual cycle can be a sign of some other problem in her body.  Always, if you or your daughter have questions about her health, you should talk to a doctor.

To help your daughter track her period find a special calendar to use or download a free Dot Girl period calendar. Teach your daughter to mark the day she first starts bleeding.  After a few months of doing this she will start to see how many days there are in between periods each month.  Remember that it might take up to a year or two for your daughter to become regular once she first starts menstruating.  And regular means something different for everyone.  It may not be the same each month and she may skip a month altogether which is normal too.

Your daughter can also mark the days she has mucous or cramps.  Over time this information will help her to better understand her body.  She can also plan to adjust her diet or activities to help deal with cramps if she has them – like more exercise, more cups of tea, or just knowing where the heating pad is stored.

We would recommend your daughter always has supplies on hand in the first couple of years after she starts her period.  A pad can be slipped into her backpack, purse or gym bag.  Using the pink bag with The Dot Girl First Period Kit is also a discreet way to store and carry supplies.  Once she is familiar with her own cycle, she’ll be able to better plan when to have supplies with her.

Period Fact #8 – What is that in her underwear?

The 8th post in our series about periods explains one of the early signs that your daughter might be experiencing closer to starting her  period.  She may notice a clear or milky-white fluid as a wet spot in her underwear. This is formally called vaginal discharge.  The mucus is a normal part of the menstrual cycle and may appear up to six months before her first period.  After that she may notice it before each period starts.

You can remind your daughter that this is her body’s natural way of cleansing itself and that it’s perfectly normal. If the discharge is dark in color or has a strong odor talk to your doctor as this can be a sign of infection.

Encourage your daughter to carry pantiliners with her.  Keep a box stashed in the bathroom at home so she can stock up at any time.  Pantiliners come in many different shapes and sizes, there are even ones to fit into thong underwear!  Many are also folded in their own disposable wrapper.  These individually wrapped liners are small enough to slip into even the smallest purse or back pack pocket.

Now might also be a good time to go with your daughter on a field trip to the local drug store.  Take a walk down the feminine care aisle and talk about all the choices.  Looking at the different size pads and when to use them – light days, heavy days, night time – will help your daughter gain confidence in managing her period.  Several companies, like Kotex, are also reaching out to the tween market with colorful packaging which helps tweens be more comfortable about their periods.

There are also many different types of tampons and your daughter may have many questions about when and how to use a tampon.  You may not want to have this conversation in the drug store aisle, however, it it good information for your daughter to have before she starts her period.

Period Fact #7 – What to do about cramps?

Our Friday period fact series continues with information about cramps. Not every girl will suffer from cramps, but for those that do, it can be a bothersome nuisance and interfere with everyday activities.

Cramps are another period symptom. During menstruation the uterus contracts or tightens to slough off the endometrium, the mucous membrane that lines the uterus. For some girls this can feel uncomfortable, even painful.

As much as possible, your daughter should stick to her regular activities and healthy habits during her period which can help her avoid cramps.

Most advice for general well being such as eating sensibly, exercising and getting the right amount of sleep also applies during menstruation. Now is the time to encourage your daughter to establish a special routine during her period that can relieve discomfort and improve her overall attitude about menstruation.

Stretching is a great way to keep muscles limber and relaxed. Sit on the floor with a straight back then bend your knees so that the souls of your feet touch, now gently pull your feet inward. Or, while standing with legs shoulder width apart, gently lunge from side to side. Both of these stretches will help to limber up the pelvic region. Add some deep breathing to increase the amount of oxygen reaching the muscles.

Start a monthly ritual of sitting down for a shared pot of tea. Earl Grey tea and Chamomile are known for their relaxing and mood lifting properties. Offer an empathetic ear if your daughter needs to gripe about her period.

Re-heatable rice bags, hot water bottles and heating pads can work wonders to ease cramps. Apply a few drops of essential oil of lavender to the rice bag for added pain relieving benefits.

If your daughter’s cramps are so bad that she has to miss school or regular activities, it would be time to take her to a doctor.  He/she can help determine what may be causing the cramps and prescribe remedies.

Period Fact #6 – Will her period hurt?

Welcome back to our Friday series on Period Facts.  Today’s topic is ‘Will Her Period Hurt?’ Periods themselves shouldn’t hurt.  Some girls experience cramping during their periods which happens when the uterus contracts or tightens as it is working to flush the lining of the uterus.  Bloating caused from extra fluid in the abdomen may also cause discomfort.

Cramping usually happens in the abdomen or the area below the belly button.  If your daughter has burning, itching or sharp pain around her vagina then it is probably best to discuss her concerns with a doctor.